Guize guize guize

Pssst hey guize.

Guess what.


...new blog coming soon! New look, new feel... re-vamped posts... BE EXCITED<3



Zumii out!

Moving?!?!?

I'm seriously freaking out.

Brat Girlfriend got offered an AMAZING job in Florida, and she turned it down on Monday. Now, the company is literally BEGGING her to come down because they want her so much ((she's kind of a big deal)). I'm here. I don't make nearly as much money as she does. And yet, I want to stay with her, just as she wants to stay with me.

We can't live together, we tried that before. I'm okay with living alone for a while, I suppose... or I can pretend to be. Truth is, I can't imagine myself without her, so I'm willing to move to the ends of the earth to follow her.

That doesn't mean I'm not afraid.

She's talking to the company that offered her a job tonight and she's going to talk to them about me and see if they have anything for me; even if they don't I'll do anything I can to be down there with her. Maybe I'm stupid for that. Maybe I'm hopeless for it. But I love her so much, and I really want to be with her.

She means everything to me. I can't imagine what I would do if I didn't have her. Yes, this is more of a rant than an "entry". But I'm just so scared...

Blah

As I sit here at 4am, eating cake with my fingers with tears running down my face and Futurama playing on Netflix, I'm left to wonder why I'm here and how I could do the things I've done. I'm a great person, usually, but for some reason I've ended up lying about some things I'm not proud of, and kissing another girl while Brat Girlfriend and I were dating. People say, "everyone does stupid things." People say, "forgive and forget." I've hurt my little girl, and I deserve to be hurting right now too. I can't say I like it or agree with it, but on some level I know I deserve it...


I hurt, and I want someone to come rescue me...

I hate boys.

Seriously. They suck and I wish they would disappear.

That is all *for now*

Wisdom Tooth Removal...

This... is the tale of Zumii getting her wisdom tooth out ((yes that is meant to be singular)) *MAKES SCARY NOISES! PRETEND THERE IS WIND WHISTLING THROUGH THE TREES AND BLACK CATS YOWLING!*

Alright, so besides having to get up at the asscrack of dawn to go to the dentist ((where I go, the surgeon is only there for three hours and they try to cram ten million people in from 7:30am - 10:30am)), it's not too bad, yet. I couldn't sleep the night before because I was so nervous, so I stayed up late watching infomercials. Not much to the story until I get into the actual dentist chair. I'm pretty nervous, so my hands are a bit shaky as I sign the consent form to having a student watch the surgeon perform. That's not a big deal. My normal dentist gives me novacaine to start the process and lets me alone for about 15 minutes to let it sink in. She comes back and gives me a bit more, then leaves again... I hear a lot of drilling and sawing noises coming from the other rooms, and what I think is a grown man crying ((and he was, I later figured out)). 

And now it's my turn. I have novacaine. That's it. I'm not put under, I don't have laughing gas or whatever. And the surgeon comes in, wedges a black thing on the opposite side of my mouth to keep it open for him, and he immediately goes to work. I hear "Make a 45 degree cut here and here" and suddenly my mouth is full of blood. They had to put a smaller nozzle on the spit sucker to fit it in my mouth... I have an extremely small mouth. I had originally thought I could keep my eyes open for this, but I learned very quickly that watching the surgeon was not a smart idea, especially since in Bioshock, one of my favorite video games, there is a doctor that looked exactly like him and he turned out to be very evil. I closed my eyes and just laid there. I felt something splatter on my face, heard and "oops" and a slight laugh, and I opened my eyes for a second to see that, somehow, blood had smattered my glasses. Just lovely. Eyes closed again. And suddenly, I feel like the surgeon has a crow bar in my mouth.... a small one, but he's jerking it just like you would a crowbar. And I'm TERRIFIED. You know, I've never had anything this big done to me before. So my legs start shaking really, really badly and I'm trying as hard as I can not to actually have a panic attack. My normal dentist actually sits down next to me and begins to pat my leg to try to help me calm down.

This was about 15 minutes in, mind you. Now, pretend that I've described the crowbar part to you for a good 45 minutes... because that's how long it took him to get it out. The root *is that what it's called?* was curved so drastically he had to seriously work to get it loose enough to pull out. I was scheduled to have both teeth on the top and bottom of my left side to be removed, but the surgeon refused to do the bottom one, using the excuse that "he didn't think I needed to be in more pain than I already was." So great, I get to go through this 3 more times. 

I had to go back for a checkup a week after the extraction, and they told me that in the 40 years that the surgeon had been doing extractions, that mine was in the top 3 as the worst he had to do. I felt like a celebrity because everyone was like "is that the girl that took so long?" while I was there... it was crazy.

I spit out my stitches on Sweetest Day... and at the moment, I still can't open my jaw wider than about 1/2 an inch. I have to do "mouth exercises" to gain back mobility... eating is a challenge. I can't eat anything big still, and I have to cut everything up into little tiny pieces. Brat Girlfriend laughs at me a lot, but it's cute; she calls me her "tiny mouth girlfriend" and always offers to smash my food for me. She makes fun of me when we go out to eat; I can't eat my favorite soup at Olive Garden (chicken and gnocci) without having to cut up the gnocci... she says "Who has to cut up soup to eat it?!" 

That's basically all I have to say on the matter... 

THAT'S IT

I'm setting my homepage to Blogger. Then I will have absolutely NO EXCUSE for not posting a blog about... who knows what.


Oh... I'm getting my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday... >.> Prepare for drugged blog posts! With giggles *hopefully*


Oh! And enjoy this "real life" picture of Brat Girlfriend *instead of my usual chibi style*

If you haven't seen my chibi style, visit the link here <3

Happy National Coming Out Day!

Kudos to all of you guys and girls coming out today; kudos to all of you guys and girls who are already out and are dealing with *some* of society's issues with the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. I've been personally dealing with it since I was about 13 years old, and I can tell you, it's not an easy thing. In the moment of "National Coming Out Day," I've decided to come out... again.

Everyone... I am a genderqueer lesbian with some heterosexual tendencies. I like mostly girls with a few boys thrown in. Brat Girlfriend is the most AMAZING girl in the world and I wouldn't have her any other way.

Is that enough? =)