Moving?!?!?

I'm seriously freaking out.

Brat Girlfriend got offered an AMAZING job in Florida, and she turned it down on Monday. Now, the company is literally BEGGING her to come down because they want her so much ((she's kind of a big deal)). I'm here. I don't make nearly as much money as she does. And yet, I want to stay with her, just as she wants to stay with me.

We can't live together, we tried that before. I'm okay with living alone for a while, I suppose... or I can pretend to be. Truth is, I can't imagine myself without her, so I'm willing to move to the ends of the earth to follow her.

That doesn't mean I'm not afraid.

She's talking to the company that offered her a job tonight and she's going to talk to them about me and see if they have anything for me; even if they don't I'll do anything I can to be down there with her. Maybe I'm stupid for that. Maybe I'm hopeless for it. But I love her so much, and I really want to be with her.

She means everything to me. I can't imagine what I would do if I didn't have her. Yes, this is more of a rant than an "entry". But I'm just so scared...

Blah

As I sit here at 4am, eating cake with my fingers with tears running down my face and Futurama playing on Netflix, I'm left to wonder why I'm here and how I could do the things I've done. I'm a great person, usually, but for some reason I've ended up lying about some things I'm not proud of, and kissing another girl while Brat Girlfriend and I were dating. People say, "everyone does stupid things." People say, "forgive and forget." I've hurt my little girl, and I deserve to be hurting right now too. I can't say I like it or agree with it, but on some level I know I deserve it...


I hurt, and I want someone to come rescue me...

I hate boys.

Seriously. They suck and I wish they would disappear.

That is all *for now*